A space triangle worthy of Captain Kirk—Florida police arrested astronaut Lisa Nowak on charges of attempted kidnapping after a confrontation between her and another astronaut, Colleen Shipman Nowak, apparently upset that Shipman was having a relationship with a space shuttle pilot that she claimed, followed the woman through the airport and then confronted her in a parking lot. Shipman called police and Nowak was arrested. Police found knives, garbage bags, and rubber gloves in Nowak’s car and motel room. Nowak is married with three children and is not facing life in prison if convicted. Up next, Jerry Springer broadcasts from the moon.
Clothes make the woman—A study by Unilever found that a majority of women would consider forgoing sex for up to 15 months in exchange for a brand new wardrobe. Furthermore, 61 percent of women responded that it would be worse to loose a favorite clothing item than not have sex for a month. The study also suggests that clothes last longer than many relationships with women hanging on to certain items for up to 12 ½ years, longer than many relationships. It would depend on the wardrobe offered (a whole room (15 x 15, shoes included) from Soho designers or a closet full of Wal Mart).
I wonder if Anna Nicole will sleep with this lawyer—Trim Spa and Anna Nicole Smith have been sued in a class action lawsuit regarding the company’s claims that it can cause rapid and substantial weight loss. The lawsuit questions Trim Spa’s business practices. Trim Spa recently had to pay the federal government 1.2 million in fines regarding questionable science. Exercise more; eat less, the only way to go...or drugs and sex if you prefer the real way.
Wal Mart not so female friendly—An appeals court has ruled that Wal Mart will have to face a class action lawsuit brought by female employees of the retail giant. The suit alleges gender bias when determining promotions and pay. If Wal Mart loses, it could be the biggest payout in history as it is already the biggest class action lawsuit in history (approx. 1.5 million female employees).
Too much free time—You may remember the story reported last week regarding the “bomb” scare in Boston . One of the men charged with hanging up the devices, which turned out to be advertisements for Cartoon Network show “Aqua Teen Hunger Force,” was spotted on surveillance cameras videotaping police and the bomb squad as the squad removed the device. He has admitted that he did not inform police that the devices were harmless and that he, instead, called Turner Broadcasting to inform them of the situation. Doesn’t this man have anything better to do, like I don’t know, get an actual job. I wish I could go around being a “video artist.”
And this is your news you can use!
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
Sunday, February 4, 2007
I like free...
The Art Institute (of Chicago) will be free February 1-21 for all of us poor people who think 12 dollars is a bit much to see a bunch of paintings and listen to a bunch of noisy children clamour loudly through the halls. So once it gets above zero, it might be nice to pay visit to the lions and the Picassos.
Saturday, February 3, 2007
Go Bears
Chicago—This really sucks for the Cubs...The Super Bowl takes place this weekend on Sunday 2/4/07. Pizza, hot wings, beer, and anything else that might give you a heart attack before the next time the Bears make it to the SB will be consumed in massive quantities. So enjoy now and hit the elliptical later. Don’t forget to wear your Bears gear!
Groundhog—“I saw my shadow. It made me look fat” (New Yorker Cartoon)...That hated hog did not see its shadow this morning. Could that mean spring is just around the corner? Well, today’s high is 7 and tomorrow’s is less than half my age and I’m 23. Spring is laughing at us from the end of a very long cold tunnel. But, who knows, global warming could punt is into the high seventies by next Friday.
Hollywood—McDreamy has McChildren...Patrick Dempsey and his wife Jillian welcomed twin boys into this world this morning. In keeping with the tradition of incredibly weird names, the boys will forever (until they change them upon film/television success) be known as Darby and Sullivan. Ha ha ha ha... actually that makes me laugh out loud when you put the two together. It sounds like a comedy line up or a musical act.
And now for some actual news...
Iraq—I sure hope by now they use recycled paper...The National Intelligence Estimate has issued its report regarding the current Iraq situation and it painted a grim picture for success in Iraq . The report, based on findings from a number of intelligent agencies (which makes me a little nervous b/c I thought we only had three or four), states that chance for success is a bit of a long shot. The Sectarian strife has almost reached a point of no return. Now this is like the twelfth government report that has stated pretty much the same thing...But apparently the twelve report program is the best way to reach President Bush.
Michigan—People are people no matter what they are (story provided by Jen)...The Michigan Court of Appeals has denied public universities and government agencies the right to provide healthcare and other benefits to same sex partners. The court cited a 2004 voter ban on gay marriage as the source for their ruling. With 47 million people without healthcare in the US , why not add a few more to the mix.
Groundhog—“I saw my shadow. It made me look fat” (New Yorker Cartoon)...That hated hog did not see its shadow this morning. Could that mean spring is just around the corner? Well, today’s high is 7 and tomorrow’s is less than half my age and I’m 23. Spring is laughing at us from the end of a very long cold tunnel. But, who knows, global warming could punt is into the high seventies by next Friday.
Hollywood—McDreamy has McChildren...Patrick Dempsey and his wife Jillian welcomed twin boys into this world this morning. In keeping with the tradition of incredibly weird names, the boys will forever (until they change them upon film/television success) be known as Darby and Sullivan. Ha ha ha ha... actually that makes me laugh out loud when you put the two together. It sounds like a comedy line up or a musical act.
And now for some actual news...
Iraq—I sure hope by now they use recycled paper...The National Intelligence Estimate has issued its report regarding the current Iraq situation and it painted a grim picture for success in Iraq . The report, based on findings from a number of intelligent agencies (which makes me a little nervous b/c I thought we only had three or four), states that chance for success is a bit of a long shot. The Sectarian strife has almost reached a point of no return. Now this is like the twelfth government report that has stated pretty much the same thing...But apparently the twelve report program is the best way to reach President Bush.
Michigan—People are people no matter what they are (story provided by Jen)...The Michigan Court of Appeals has denied public universities and government agencies the right to provide healthcare and other benefits to same sex partners. The court cited a 2004 voter ban on gay marriage as the source for their ruling. With 47 million people without healthcare in the US , why not add a few more to the mix.
Thursday, February 1, 2007
Attention all Muggles...
It's official! Potter fans plan your vacations for the last half of July and expect to spend it curled up in a quiet corner and read and read and read! I'm sure, judging from the 5th and 6th books, this is going to be a long one! The longer the better, the longer it lasts! Will Harry live or will he die? Will Hermoine and Ron finally get together? Is Dumbledore really dead? Is Snape as bad as they say? So many questions are about to be answered! Why is it only February!
And the beat goes on....
Boston—A marketing stunt gone very wrong...A bridge, a highway, and part of a river were shut down yesterday after reports came in of a suspicious object was found at each location. Fearing the worst, Boston law enforcement went into full terrorism mode only to find that the devices were nothing more than advertisements for the cult cartoon “Aqua Teen Hunger Force” on Cartoon Network. Boston officials are livid and are investigating possible criminal charges against anyone associated with the devices. Turner Broadcasting and the advertising company responsible for the ads contend that that the ads were up in ten other cities with no problems. Boston has hinted that it will sue to recover lost revenue and costs of the investigation.
UK/USA—Attention all muggles and wizards...The seventh and last book in the Harry Potter series has a release date! “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows” will be released on July 21, 2007!! And if that wasn’t enough of greatness, the fifth movie will be released the week before on July 13, 2007. Expect Potter mania to reach feverish heights during the end of July. Don’t forget its Harry’s birthday too! As for me, I’ve put my vacation request for the 13 and 23 off. Work when Harry Potter’s out? No way!
Texas—A sad day for us liberals...Molly Ivins lost her battle with cancer yesterday and passed away at her home in Texas . For those of you who do not know her, she was an incredibly feisty political reporter and columnist who has spent the last few years of her career on a mission to destroy President Bush’s credibility. And for that we should love her! She once remarked that an unfortunate Texas politician would need watering if his IQ got any lower. And for lines like that we should love her.
France—I could go for some “Zzzzzss”...The French health ministry has ordered a study on the value of the nap, not for kindergartners, but for us grown adults in the working world. If the study points to need for more rest and less stress, then the nap could become a part of the French work policy. French people not only work only 35 hours per week, 5 weeks of vacation (starting out), and now they get naps! Sometimes capitalism just sucks out my soul... and makes me sleepy!
France—It’s getting hot hot hot!...The UN climate study will be released tomorrow and surprise, surprise, it doesn’t look good for us. In the most strongly worded language (and trust me this is strong for the UN), the group of scientists made up from every country in the world has stated that global warming is “very likely” caused by humans. Not only are we responsible for global warming, the report also points out that we “more than likely” are responsible for the increase in deadly hurricanes including Katrina. The report also estimates that the global temperature could increase by up to 10 degrees by 2100. I really need to get in bikini shape real quick if I’m going to be able to swim outside in January come 2030!
This is your news you can use. Enjoy and keep those lights off!
UK/USA—Attention all muggles and wizards...The seventh and last book in the Harry Potter series has a release date! “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows” will be released on July 21, 2007!! And if that wasn’t enough of greatness, the fifth movie will be released the week before on July 13, 2007. Expect Potter mania to reach feverish heights during the end of July. Don’t forget its Harry’s birthday too! As for me, I’ve put my vacation request for the 13 and 23 off. Work when Harry Potter’s out? No way!
Texas—A sad day for us liberals...Molly Ivins lost her battle with cancer yesterday and passed away at her home in Texas . For those of you who do not know her, she was an incredibly feisty political reporter and columnist who has spent the last few years of her career on a mission to destroy President Bush’s credibility. And for that we should love her! She once remarked that an unfortunate Texas politician would need watering if his IQ got any lower. And for lines like that we should love her.
France—I could go for some “Zzzzzss”...The French health ministry has ordered a study on the value of the nap, not for kindergartners, but for us grown adults in the working world. If the study points to need for more rest and less stress, then the nap could become a part of the French work policy. French people not only work only 35 hours per week, 5 weeks of vacation (starting out), and now they get naps! Sometimes capitalism just sucks out my soul... and makes me sleepy!
France—It’s getting hot hot hot!...The UN climate study will be released tomorrow and surprise, surprise, it doesn’t look good for us. In the most strongly worded language (and trust me this is strong for the UN), the group of scientists made up from every country in the world has stated that global warming is “very likely” caused by humans. Not only are we responsible for global warming, the report also points out that we “more than likely” are responsible for the increase in deadly hurricanes including Katrina. The report also estimates that the global temperature could increase by up to 10 degrees by 2100. I really need to get in bikini shape real quick if I’m going to be able to swim outside in January come 2030!
This is your news you can use. Enjoy and keep those lights off!
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