Boston—A marketing stunt gone very wrong...A bridge, a highway, and part of a river were shut down yesterday after reports came in of a suspicious object was found at each location. Fearing the worst, Boston law enforcement went into full terrorism mode only to find that the devices were nothing more than advertisements for the cult cartoon “Aqua Teen Hunger Force” on Cartoon Network. Boston officials are livid and are investigating possible criminal charges against anyone associated with the devices. Turner Broadcasting and the advertising company responsible for the ads contend that that the ads were up in ten other cities with no problems. Boston has hinted that it will sue to recover lost revenue and costs of the investigation.
UK/USA—Attention all muggles and wizards...The seventh and last book in the Harry Potter series has a release date! “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows” will be released on July 21, 2007!! And if that wasn’t enough of greatness, the fifth movie will be released the week before on July 13, 2007. Expect Potter mania to reach feverish heights during the end of July. Don’t forget its Harry’s birthday too! As for me, I’ve put my vacation request for the 13 and 23 off. Work when Harry Potter’s out? No way!
Texas—A sad day for us liberals...Molly Ivins lost her battle with cancer yesterday and passed away at her home in Texas . For those of you who do not know her, she was an incredibly feisty political reporter and columnist who has spent the last few years of her career on a mission to destroy President Bush’s credibility. And for that we should love her! She once remarked that an unfortunate Texas politician would need watering if his IQ got any lower. And for lines like that we should love her.
France—I could go for some “Zzzzzss”...The French health ministry has ordered a study on the value of the nap, not for kindergartners, but for us grown adults in the working world. If the study points to need for more rest and less stress, then the nap could become a part of the French work policy. French people not only work only 35 hours per week, 5 weeks of vacation (starting out), and now they get naps! Sometimes capitalism just sucks out my soul... and makes me sleepy!
France—It’s getting hot hot hot!...The UN climate study will be released tomorrow and surprise, surprise, it doesn’t look good for us. In the most strongly worded language (and trust me this is strong for the UN), the group of scientists made up from every country in the world has stated that global warming is “very likely” caused by humans. Not only are we responsible for global warming, the report also points out that we “more than likely” are responsible for the increase in deadly hurricanes including Katrina. The report also estimates that the global temperature could increase by up to 10 degrees by 2100. I really need to get in bikini shape real quick if I’m going to be able to swim outside in January come 2030!
This is your news you can use. Enjoy and keep those lights off!
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